And so it was with the Rider family. Soon after Bob Rider earned his law degree in Richmond, the family moved to the Roanoke area. “When we first moved here we heard about Stanley Avenue,” explained Jo Rider. “We had four little children and it was important to have a place where children could grow up in a safe area around other children.” The couple soon discovered that this was not only the most popular street in all of South Roanoke but rather picturesque with its turn-of-the-century architecture. It had a “small-town feel.”

The couple initially settled down the street from their current home. They thought the location was perfect. And over the years Jo kept her eyes on a nearby house. She admits that she always wanted it. “I just loved this house!” she exclaimed. Finally it became available. “I went all through it,” said Jo. “Bob just breezed through.” As the couple walked back to their own house down the street, Bob stated, “Whoever buys this house needs to be in an institution!” As Bob looked at his wife he could see the wheels turning and said “Now Jo! Jo!” Her reply; “Now, Bob. I can make it into a wonderful home and we can stay in the neighborhood!” His reply; “No, no, absolutely not!” The Rider family moved in soon after!!

“When we first moved here, people thought that we were crazy to have bought it,” said Jo. Bob explained that his father-in-law always referred to the house as “the building.” And “if you saw photographs of what we bought you would understand. Jo always had the vision,” said Bob. The house was definitely not in good shape. Prior to moving in, a few things were done. “The rest we did while living in it over many years,” said Jo. Rooms were renovated one at a time.

The Riders’ classic Georgian Colonial was built around 1910 and typifies the classic Georgian qualities of simplicity and symmetry. It boasts multi-pane windows, decorative moldings, dentil work and two chimneys.

While some homes need major renovations to make them showplaces, what the Rider home needed was more like a face lift. The crown molding, fireplaces, hardwood floors, plantation shutters and lovely beveled glass inserts in the French doors were all there when the family moved in. As Jo describes, “The house had good bones.”

Clearly the focus of their home is family. Rooms are filled with heirlooms. “The living room is filled with my family,” explained Jo. “My mother’s treasures, my aunts’… I am the caretaker of these things!” Cupboards are lined with Jo’s mother’s dishes including Willow Ware and other sentimental favorites.

The home was furnished piece by piece, one room at a time. “We are always changing things and making it new,” said Jo. “We go to estate sales and antique shows and pick up things.”

Decorating is nothing new for Jo. “It is something I do. I have decorated many, many homes.” Jo owned a successful design business, Jo Rider Interiors. “About ten years ago I stopped, and now just do for my family. I search and search for just the right piece. Things call to you.” Jo’s selections are usually things that the family can live with forever.

Old homes have character, and stories abound. And what better story to pass on than that of a ghost? Soon after the family moved in, Bob began to hear violin music. It was always the same song—Liebesträume by Franz Liszt. It was intermittent, originating from somewhere in the house and completely unexplainable. Talking to a previous owner, they learned that an elderly aunt came and lived with past occupants. She loved the house. Every evening the family would gather around and the aunt would entertain with her violin. Her favorite tune was Liebesträume!

One night the music began again and Bob had enough. He stormed up to the attic, which prior to moving in had been meticulously emptied and scrubbed clean. As soon as he climbed the steps, Bob spied something new sticking out of the rafters. It was an old violin covered with years of dust and grime. Piecing things together, Jo decided that the aunt was upset with Bob because at first he did not like the house. “I think that it hurt her a lot,” said Jo. “Once we got the house all fixed up, the music stopped.”

Today that same violin graces the mantel in the family’s den. This simple but large room is jam-packed with books, family photographs and lots of memories. Filled with comfortable furniture, the family gathers here. A big fire roars in the fireplace all winter long. Above the mantel hangs a hand-colored hunt scene print, the first item that the couple purchased for the house. Bob’s collection of English Spy prints lines one wall. Often featured in Vanity Fair, these prints depict caricatures of barristers and judges. A portrait of Robert E. Lee holds a special spot here. Lee is a favorite of Bob’s. “It came out of my Aunt Lou’s house,” explained Jo. “Bob was the only in-law who was left anything in her will!”

Recently the kitchen was completely renovated. Originally it encompassed a breakfast area and a separate kitchen. Today it is one room. A large oak cupboard, which was original to the house, is still a major part of the room. “I think that all homes of this era had pieces like this. And I could not begin to give something like this up!” explained Jo. Today it covers one wall in the breakfast area. Another wall holds shelving custom built by their son. It is filled with books on cooking and gardening, two of Jo’s loves.

The original kitchen cabinets were metal. “Everyone felt sorry for us because we had these old metal cabinets,” said Jo. “We had them sprayed with automobile paint and used them and loved them.” With this renovation Jo’s decorating talents indeed came in handy. “I don’t like new kitchens, or new appliances!” Jo said. To pull her kitchen together and keep that aged appearance, Jo found a large butcher block that she rescued from “The Lonesome Dove” in downtown Roanoke. She combined the block with a stone countertop to form an island work space. Carter Cabinets in Roanoke built the maple cabinets that line the walls and installed Corian countertops with a blue and white tile backdrop.

The dining room is one of the highlights of the Rider home. A Welsh dresser graces one wall. Somewhat like a sideboard, the dresser holds more tableware passed down through the family. Jo pointed out that they often use their fine dishes and silverware and enjoy meals in the dining room. “The dining room is so important,” explained Jo. “A lot of young people do not understand that. You know that something happens when a family enters the dining room. Baseball caps come off, the manners are used, the napkins are all in the laps, and you build memories.” Bob added, “This is when there is real conversation and not just talking.” In the dining room the Rider family relaxes and takes their time sitting around the table talking and laughing.

French doors from the dining room lead to a screened porch. A tile floor and wicker furnishings give the room an island feel, a retreat from day-to-day activities. Jo took advantage of pieces that she already had on hand, pulling it all together with a floral painting. It hangs from old shutters that Jo ingeniously placed over part of the screening to provide additional privacy.

A deck, accessible from the garden and also the kitchen, offers a large entertainment area and views of the nearby mountains. Below the deck is a shaded brick-lined patio, a perfect spot for a private dinner party.

After several trees were lost in a severe electric storm, the gardens were redesigned. A dogwood, planted when Jo and Bob’s son returned from the Persian Gulf War, stands as a tribute to the armed services and their son’s commitment to his country.

A charming brick paved alleyway runs behind the property and follows along the back of Stanley Avenue properties. It has always been here, according to Jo, and is used by families to go from house to house. Jo’s grandchildren, who live just up the road, use the route on a regular basis to walk over to visit their grandparents.

But it is the front garden that is most spectacular. “I don’t recall doing anything that I have loved so much!” exclaimed Jo when talking about her new garden. After the storm destroyed Jo’s shade garden in the back, all of the hostas and ferns were transplanted and intermixed with coral bells and coneflowers in the front of the house. A cast-iron fence from Black Dog Salvage forms a border around the garden and along the sidewalk.

A slate walkway leading to the front entrance is lined with English boxwood. Each shrub was lovingly donated by neighbors when they were small and easy to transplant. An iron garden bench placed along one side belonged to Jo’s mother.

Holidays on Stanley Avenue are special. Never is it more true than on Halloween, especially at the Riders’ home. Family and friends gather, as do about 700 costumed children! No one misses stopping by to see what spooky treats the couple has cooked up. It is not unusual to be greeted by a costumed Bob Rider carrying a lit candelabrum. “Bob and I started Halloween years and years ago,” said Jo. Today it is a growing tradition. Bob pointed out that “Nowadays people bring their children because they remember their own Halloweens with the Riders.” When asked how long they will continue the tradition, Bob replies, “We can’t give this up. If you give something like this up, you start getting old!”

Another big delight in the area is snow. The street is known for some of the area’s best sledding. According to Bob, Stanley Avenue is usually the last to be cleaned so everyone flocks here with their sleds. Last year the Riders’ son-in-law grilled hot dogs for everyone and served over four hundred. Plenty of snow, hot dogs and a roaring bonfire were just the right ingredients to make for some perfect winter fun.

Meanwhile, back at the Riders’ house, the grandchildren stream in and out, using their grandparents’ home to dry out and warm up before returning for more sledding. Much to Bob and Jo’s delight, their grandchildren are experiencing the very same memories that their own children enjoyed!

“It is like a playground here!” said Bob. “We wouldn’t move off of Stanley Avenue! Ask someone who grew up here many years ago and the story is the same.” Bob explained that a lot of their friends have moved to retirement developments and now they want to come back to neighborhoods like this. “I just don’t see myself doing that…We have everything we want here, a lovely home, room, everything is here. Why give it up?”

It’s easy to be a friend when everything is going great. We love to celebrate weddings and births, birthdays and promotions. We toast special moments and celebrate accomplishments. Unfortunately, however, difficult times are a part of life and as a friend, it’s important to be there for those moments, too.

If you have ever had to offer condolences to a friend who has lost a loved one, you know how difficult it can be. We don’t want to overstep the bounds of friendship, but we want to be there when needed. Inevitably we ask, “What can I do?” and wait for a list of duties. More often than not, however, our friend has no idea what she needs. Sometimes, all we can do is listen and provide tissues. In other instances, however, our assistance with everyday tasks becomes a welcome support. We all want to be there during difficult times but we may not know where to begin. Here are some simple acts of friendship to help make a trying time a bit easier for someone who is grieving.

Take care of everyday tasks.
It may be overwhelming for your friend to attend to simple daily tasks. If she has a pet, feeding and watering may go undone. Step in and offer to walk the dog, change the cat litter or even take the pets to the kennel if needed. Water flowers, cut the grass or do a load of laundry. Household chores just may be too much for your friend to think about and these are things that take little effort but ease her mind.

Assist with meals, appointments and errands.
In the first days, your friend may be bombarded with casseroles, cakes and pies. Certainly, this is our first instinct—to cook for those who are grieving. An outpouring of community support is shown in the first few weeks after a death, and more cooking probably won’t be needed. What is needed is support after those first few weeks. One helpful website to organize meals and household chores is lotsahelpinghands.com. This site establishes an opportunity for people to offer their help in meal preparation and other tasks via a sign-up sheet and schedule. Your friend can even log on to see who is providing the evening meal or to indicate her need for assistance running errands or tackling difficult chores. In some instances, you may be too far away to bring over a meal or run an errand. It may be a welcome change for your friend to have her favorite salad for dinner instead of a heavy meal, so arrange to have restaurant delivery or send gift cards in the mail. If you have the means, consider having a restaurant deliver an assortment of entrees packaged for the freezer to be reheated as needed. Distance needn’t prohibit you from helping a friend in need, and she will be thankful for the brief respite from meal planning and preparation.

Help with the kids.
Even in the best of times, our kids’ schedules can be a difficult balancing act. If your friend has children involved in sports or music, offer to provide a taxi service to and from the rink, pool or school. For younger children, schedule a play date or even an overnight at your home. Keeping children’s routine as normal as possible will help them deal with the upheaval they may be sensing. Be prepared, however, to field potential questions they may have and make certain you know what your friend wants you to say. Thoughtful, age-appropriate answers can help them understand what is happening during a stressful time.

Just be there.
As much as we want to help, we still may not know what our friend truly needs. Make sure she knows that a phone call in the middle of the night is OK, and you are there if she needs you. Listen to stories, look at photo albums, and when she’s ready, take her to lunch. Don’t push your friend to socialize too quickly after a loss, but don’t leave her out of your plans. Make certain she knows she’s a welcome addition to the group when she is ready to return.

Being a good friend means basking in sunny days and weathering life’s storms. The support you offer a friend in need may be just the thing that gets her through a difficult time.

As with many food memories—we all like what we grew up eating—my family members are die-hard ham biscuit people: my mother-in-law always serves ham biscuits with honey mustard on fold-over rolls at her tailgates. My tennis friends regale me with stories of big rig gas burners with a huge pot of soup or chili before fall games. Other friends say a tailgate is not complete without deviled eggs, and many have a dish, complete with a divot for each egg to show for it! (Do they really like deviled eggs—or are they just stuck with a plate that has no other purpose?) Most men will say the most important thing is meat—most women will say snacks. One friend said that desserts were not a part of tailgating—but I beg to differ.

With any entertaining opportunity, you have to decide how much time and effort you want to put into the project. Some tailgaters are pros—you know they have a whole set of plastic dishes with a football motif and a set of shelves in the garage equipped with game-related supplies. Others stop by the deli on the way to the game and pick up a bag of chips and some sandwiches. You have to decide which suits you depending on your talents (are you better at decorating the table or making the food?) and how much time you have to prep the week before. Many a great tailgate menu has been thrown together from the store, and embellished with a few team flags. Just remember these rules:

Hands free! Most people have a hard time balancing a plate and a drink—and at a tailgate, there are very few places to balance things (usually just the bumper!)—so keep it simple. I prefer a sandwich or burger wrapped in foil that can be eaten with one hand to a plate full of salads that require a fork.

Leave no trace! This Boy Scout rule of leaving your spot cleaner than when you arrived applies to tailgating, picnics, and all outdoor activities. Remember to bring an ample supply of trash bags, and start the clean-up in plenty of time before the game. Recycle glass and plastic—even if you have to bring it home.

Bring extras! Bring more food than you think you need. It’s much more fun to say “Join us!”, than to worry about if you have enough food. And be sure to bring lots of ice.

Go the extra mile! Decorate in your team colors—and bring a football to toss.

Try these favorites at the next game, or concert, or wherever you fold down your tailgate!

Olive Hummus
½ cup pitted kalamata olives
15-ounce can chickpeas, drained and rinsed
3 tablespoons lemon juice
½ cup tahini
4 cloves roasted garlic (see note)
1/3 cup olive oil
Pita chips

In a food processor, chop olives and set aside.

Place chick peas, lemon juice, tahini and garlic in the processor, and process. Add olive oil, and process until smooth, adding water if the mixture is too stiff. Fold in chopped olives. Serve with pita chips.

Note: To roast garlic, tear off a sheet of foil about 12 inches square. In it, place a handful of whole, peeled garlic cloves. Drizzle with olive oil, sprinkle with salt and pepper, and close tightly in the foil. Place the foil packet in a preheated 350 oven for about 25 minutes. Keep a few days, refrigerated.

Chicken Wings with a Ginger Plum Glaze

5 pounds chicken wings, separated at joints, tips discarded
canola oil
salt and pepper

glaze:
3 tablespoons canola oil
3 tablespoons chopped yellow onion
3 cloves garlic, minced
3 tablespoons fresh ginger, minced
8 prunes (dried plums)
¼ cup hoisin sauce (Asian section)
2 tablespoons soy sauce
¼ cup honey
¼ cup rice wine vinegar
1 teaspoons red chili flakes
1 ½ cup water

garnish:
chopped scallions
sesame seeds

Preheat broiler to high. Line rimmed sheet pan with foil. Lay wings in a single layer and drizzle with oil, then sprinkle with salt and pepper.

Broil about 8 minutes, then flip each wing and cook another 6 minutes.

In a medium saucepan, heat 3 tablespoons oil. Add onion, garlic and ginger and cook until fragrant but not browned. Add remaining glaze ingredients, and stir well. Cook over low heat for 20 minutes, then puree in batches until smooth.

Toss cooked wings with sauce and garnish with chopped scallions and sesame seeds.

Raspberry Brownies
1 cup unsalted butter
6 ounces unsweetened chocolate
4 eggs
2 cups sugar
2 teaspoons vanilla
1 teaspoon salt
1 ½ cups flour
½ teaspoons baking powder
¾ cup seedless raspberry jam
1 cup heavy cream
9 ounces chocolate chips

Line a 13 x 9 inch pan with foil, and butter the foil. Preheat the oven to 350.

In the microwave, melt the butter and chocolate. Set aside to cool.

In a large bowl, whisk eggs and sugar. Add melted chocolate, vanilla and salt, and stir to combine. Add flour and baking powder, and stir until well blended. Scrape into pan, and cook for 20–25 minutes. Set aside to cool.

Spread top of brownies with ½ cup raspberry jam.

Heat cream in a saucepan over low heat until hot. Pour over chips in a small bowl, and let sit for two minutes. Slowly stir until smooth. Stir in remaining ¼ cup jam. Pour over brownies, smoothing top. Chill until the topping has set, about one hour, then cut into squares.